Funny Thing…

I refuse to get upset. I’m not gonna do it. I’m not going to give in and get depressed. I’m not going to lose my shit and go postal. It’s just not gonna happen. Sure people are trying their best to stress me out. But after two hours of sleep, I figure the best I can do is just be amused. I am pretty amused about the fact that I went to sleep at 2 am only to wake up at 4 am. This is amusing to me, because it’s becoming clear that I am at least somewhat of an insomniac. It takes true insomniac dedication for your body to wake itself up after only 2 hours of sleep. Thank God this is my last week of work, because I can’t do it on the paltry 4 (and in today’s case 2) hours of sleep that I am getting. I am choosing to be amused that I weigh exactly 104 lbs this morning. I am super amused, because I’d really like it if my stupid GI doctor would return my calls and tell me if there’s anything in my colon biopsy that gives a clue as to why I am not doing so well gastrointestinally speaking. But I refuse to get upset. I’m not going down that road. I’m not going to cry or freak out. Life throws shit at you, and you gotta catch it or duck. That’s it, you put on your big girl panties and you move on. I can deal with the no sleep, and I can deal with the no energy and the weight loss. I can even deal with the fact that I really have no idea what’s in my health history since the who’s your daddy question is ever a mystery. And fuck that shit, not going down that drama road. Lol. Not gonna happen. So, I’m going to laugh. I’m going to say, some day I’ll look back at this and just laugh. And that someday starts today. Because what’s the point in being all bent out of shape? I don’t see a point. I am going to make everyone else as happy as possible, love the heck out of my kids, and just say fuck it. Whatever happens happens. Just go with it for now, and whenever possible make a run for the woods, or the beach, or the movie theater. But I’m not going to give up and be unhappy. Nope, you gotta keep on truckin.

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